CƯỜI

DOESN'T MATTER

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts.
What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

WORLD CUP FINALS

A man has tickets for the 2006 World Cup final. After he has been sitting in his seat for a few minutes, the man in the seat behind him taps him on the shoulder and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"Absolutely incredible!" said the man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, one of the great sporting events, and not use it?"
"Well actually," he says, "the seat belonged to my wife.
She was supposed to come with me but she passed away.
This is the first World Cup final we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," replies the man. "That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else to take the seat? A friend or relative, or even a neighbour?"
The man shakes his head "No, they're all at the funeral."